my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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