If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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