Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
