Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
