I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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