Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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