My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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