If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
