Soap is not a condiment
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
