I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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