don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
