dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
