she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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