I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
