Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
