im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
