it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You're like the curious george of whores
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
