At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
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I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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