yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
