Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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