i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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