So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
