It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
