I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
