Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
