I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
