This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
