I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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