Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
