I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
