I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
