You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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