I'm gonna have a badass scar
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
