My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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