She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How does it feel to date your dad?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
