all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize