i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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