Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
