I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
