After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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