Me too!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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