Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
