you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
