The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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