No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
