why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
