oh god the rape fog is back!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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