Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
