I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
