Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
