She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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