So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it's great music for shaving your balls
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
