i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i need some magic done to my vagina
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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