Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
