Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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