Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Randomize
