so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
