Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize