angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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