actually, I'm a sock model
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
