There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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