community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
